Otherness and the elsewhere. When I think about fashion I think about how certain styles or cuts or trends seem to allude to another time or place. An otherness. In doing so the wearer can confer upon themselves a part of this mystique of this puff of smoke. At its most sophisticated the otherness could be a very particular place such as a city or part of a city. When I think about Balenciaga I think about how the otherness in this case seems to not even be another human place but more like an alien place. At its most immediate you see people wearing clothes, t-shirts, jerseys with the names of cities written on them, usually in the form of some sports team. In this way you and that otherness are connected. Part of you is cast off into that otherness and that part of you is not present to this place either because you need protection from this moment or you cant see this moment. Anyway in art too there is this otherness. Usually you have these pictures and they indicate other times and places through depiction or through stylistic references. There is a clear input or reference from which to work. I think about this now because I don’t know what my inputs are.

Then I was thinking about priming and going to see the waterlilles in the orangerie and how the hot sun and the breeze was so refreshing as I sat in the shade and watched the dappled light. I was primed so much more naturally to then ‘see’ and experience the painting. I think about that now on this journey.

I think too about how loving Harry allows me to love myself. Giving love and receiveing love are really so close that it can be difficult to distinguish. In order to give love you must first love yourself. When I have difficulty being kind to myself I make time for Harry. No dog will ever refuse your attention, your kindness, your love. And in giving me that space to receive this attention I can see past myself even momentarily so that I can start to feel my own love again. Kick start.

Peacock house. Ive only ever known or seen peacocks in captivity and to see one in the wild, like the photo of one in a tree in the house I'm staying in, looks unnatural to me.